Autumn Dusk: Insights on Life Energy Stewardship

Written by:

Katherina

I initially wanted to write reflections on my first steps participating in pathways towards a global maternal gift economy so far as a way to sort of take responsibility of my experience in it. I thought I could be more of an active participant in it through honest reflection and self-connection. And that by blogging my reflections, that would be pushing an edge for me rather than privately writing about it in my paper journal.

I want to ground what I write in humility and also deep reverence for what is being experimented with and also take myself seriously at the same time while my reflections are fresh.

I’m still at the very very beginning of participation and the pathways I’ve stepped on as of yet are not in full shared risk but a pattern I’m noticing so far is deep hesitance to bring my full needs forward out of a knowing that they won’t all be on purpose for what I am receiving money for.

I think it’s a deep human dilemma where to steward our life energies and that often we find ways to meet material needs to sustain ourselves to be able to then also do another thing. I would also say that humans are not meant to just do one thing and that it’s a big hairy thing to try and categorize, track and be aware of all of the interconnected ways through which our life energies are being siphoned.

I realize I am still looking at this like an individual and that’s because for now at least it seems to me like I still mostly am an individual.

I am starting to believe more and more that we have the innate capacities for ever-deepening depths of complexity and that simplicity is actually a way to maintain the status quo.

And perhaps that a return to group-living is a way to have greater settledness around where to put energy.

This blog post wasn’t as straightforward as I wanted it to be and I actually didn’t go into the levels of practicality that I wanted to. Sigh. I also used a lot of big words which I didn’t want to do. I am a words person that does not want to be a words person…

I invite any comments/questions/reflections. Welcome to my growing tiny corner of the interwebs!